Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Why I like dogs

1. Look after your gang. Dogs monitor the pack.
People. They come home, they go out; they just don't get it that the pack needs to stay together. Good job you're there to remind them. You'll also check on any people displaying a worrying tendency to sleep during walk and meal times. After all, if they're ill, you won't get fed and then where would the world be? A good poke with a wet nose should rouse them, and if they don't get up, hop up and join them for a nap together.

2. Be clear about your priorities. Dogs are refreshingly honest.
Ignore the dog who's patently desperate to play chase: oh no, run straight past and beg for liver treats from the human you know carries them. You know that's all you really want. Why be coy about things?

3. Improve your time-keeping: get a dog!
Who needs a clock when you've got a dog to tell you when to get up and feed him, what time to take him out, and when to go to bed? You'll never be late again, because he's slightly earlier every day! Beauty sleep's a cinch when the dog wants to shut the house down at 9PM.

Now, why doesn't everybody follow my few simple rules for living?
- Toby

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